Not a farewell...
Over the last 3 years, my character Zylia has grown tremendously within Vana'diel. But all games come to an end. All of them have a finishing point. FFXI is created to have stories end, but the journey never ceases.
In the last 3 years I've given up a lot of opportunities and caused problems within multiple areas of my life. Because of this, last week I decided that when presented with the opportunity to resolve all of my problems, that I step away from the game and move on.
In the next few weeks I will be cancelling my Content ID and I will be moving out *hopefully* to an apartment with someone very dear to me. Over the years i've had multiple people trying to tell me that the source of my depression and unhappiness was the game, but in reality the game was putting over a false veil of happiness, while I turned a blind eye to the world around me crumbling.
The game in recent times has become a source of drama and stress, originating when Rsouljah left the game, and continuing and heightening when Anaeran attempted to pin me as the reason for him quitting. The guy never liked the game. One job to 75, underequipped. He found more joy in putting the people together than playing it. The hatred and drama he attempted to pin me with really made me ask myself 'Why am I putting up with this game and this kind of drama in my life?' I let this game take over my life and now that I haven't played it for almost a week, I feel so much more happy and content with how things are going.
This game is a drug. It is an addiction...
Addiction is a chronic disorder proposed to be precipitated by a combination of genetic, biological/pharmacological and social factors. Addiction is characterized by the repeated use of substances or behaviors despite clear evidence of morbidity secondary to such use.
Final fantasy puts you into a social world in which you can earn money, benefit, prosper. Real life puts you in a social world where you can earn money, benefit, prosper... the problem with Final Fantasy, is one day, everything you work hard on and try to obtain will one day disappear. Friends from across the country will become lesser friends as you leave the game. The friends in game wont come to your wedding, wont be there for you when you have a problem. Can't house you if you get kicked out of your apartment. Can't go to a bar or movie with you. They can't go on a vacation with you. They can't travel to a nearby town. They can't pick you up if your car breaks down.
The social ties in Final Fantasy is what makes it addicting. The storyline of the game wholeheartedly is not that impressive. The interaction and group work is outstanding however.
Someone told me they didn't understand how it could become so addicting. I compare it to people who go to college parties all week instead of studying. They thrive off the social interaction, the feeling of belonging, the comfort and fun they get. FF wraps up all of that into a square room where the most you need to do is eat sleep and use the bathroom.
I'm not leaving FFXI because I want to. I love the game, theres so much I haven't achieved, theres events I've wanted to do, fights I've wanted to do, gear I've wanted for well over a year. I led a Dynamis shell for over a year and the time flew by. I'm leaving the game because there are things more important that I need to place a priority on in my life.
My advice to anyone looking to play FFXI... don't bind yourself to events. One of my biggest problems in the game would be that I would handcuff myself to the schedule. Not everyone does it but it can be a serious problem. Its what caused my relationship to suffer. It caused problems with my parents and sibling. There is a reason that the warning screen comes up before you enter the game. I remember when i first played it, I took a screenshot and showed my good friend and we laughed about it.
That warning is there for a reason. Don't ignore it.
With that said I will not say goodbye to my friends, but I will ask that you contact me with your AOL/MSN/Yahoo! screennames or emails. My biggest problem in quitting is that I'm scared I wont ever talk to you all again. I will still keep the internet and AIM and I will check up on the forums. But I think as far as the game goes, Zylia's spent her time in Vana'diel long enough. She was a good thief, a damned good black mage, with talents in other areas of magery.
I'm going to miss Zylia alot and miss interacting with everyone. I will still be reachable however, be it IM or email and I will keep in touch.
You guys have made these last three years absolutely unbelievable and brought me so much happiness. I'm 21 years old now and I just can't bind myself to this game any longer. It's liberating to step away from it and smile.
~Zylia
In the last 3 years I've given up a lot of opportunities and caused problems within multiple areas of my life. Because of this, last week I decided that when presented with the opportunity to resolve all of my problems, that I step away from the game and move on.
In the next few weeks I will be cancelling my Content ID and I will be moving out *hopefully* to an apartment with someone very dear to me. Over the years i've had multiple people trying to tell me that the source of my depression and unhappiness was the game, but in reality the game was putting over a false veil of happiness, while I turned a blind eye to the world around me crumbling.
The game in recent times has become a source of drama and stress, originating when Rsouljah left the game, and continuing and heightening when Anaeran attempted to pin me as the reason for him quitting. The guy never liked the game. One job to 75, underequipped. He found more joy in putting the people together than playing it. The hatred and drama he attempted to pin me with really made me ask myself 'Why am I putting up with this game and this kind of drama in my life?' I let this game take over my life and now that I haven't played it for almost a week, I feel so much more happy and content with how things are going.
This game is a drug. It is an addiction...
Addiction is a chronic disorder proposed to be precipitated by a combination of genetic, biological/pharmacological and social factors. Addiction is characterized by the repeated use of substances or behaviors despite clear evidence of morbidity secondary to such use.
Final fantasy puts you into a social world in which you can earn money, benefit, prosper. Real life puts you in a social world where you can earn money, benefit, prosper... the problem with Final Fantasy, is one day, everything you work hard on and try to obtain will one day disappear. Friends from across the country will become lesser friends as you leave the game. The friends in game wont come to your wedding, wont be there for you when you have a problem. Can't house you if you get kicked out of your apartment. Can't go to a bar or movie with you. They can't go on a vacation with you. They can't travel to a nearby town. They can't pick you up if your car breaks down.
The social ties in Final Fantasy is what makes it addicting. The storyline of the game wholeheartedly is not that impressive. The interaction and group work is outstanding however.
Someone told me they didn't understand how it could become so addicting. I compare it to people who go to college parties all week instead of studying. They thrive off the social interaction, the feeling of belonging, the comfort and fun they get. FF wraps up all of that into a square room where the most you need to do is eat sleep and use the bathroom.
I'm not leaving FFXI because I want to. I love the game, theres so much I haven't achieved, theres events I've wanted to do, fights I've wanted to do, gear I've wanted for well over a year. I led a Dynamis shell for over a year and the time flew by. I'm leaving the game because there are things more important that I need to place a priority on in my life.
My advice to anyone looking to play FFXI... don't bind yourself to events. One of my biggest problems in the game would be that I would handcuff myself to the schedule. Not everyone does it but it can be a serious problem. Its what caused my relationship to suffer. It caused problems with my parents and sibling. There is a reason that the warning screen comes up before you enter the game. I remember when i first played it, I took a screenshot and showed my good friend and we laughed about it.
That warning is there for a reason. Don't ignore it.
With that said I will not say goodbye to my friends, but I will ask that you contact me with your AOL/MSN/Yahoo! screennames or emails. My biggest problem in quitting is that I'm scared I wont ever talk to you all again. I will still keep the internet and AIM and I will check up on the forums. But I think as far as the game goes, Zylia's spent her time in Vana'diel long enough. She was a good thief, a damned good black mage, with talents in other areas of magery.
I'm going to miss Zylia alot and miss interacting with everyone. I will still be reachable however, be it IM or email and I will keep in touch.
You guys have made these last three years absolutely unbelievable and brought me so much happiness. I'm 21 years old now and I just can't bind myself to this game any longer. It's liberating to step away from it and smile.
~Zylia
posted by Zylia @ 8:06 AM
2 Comments:
At 4:57 PM,
Jediknight said…
Damn, reactivated my account recently and started to play alittle. Sorry to see that you are gone Zylia, hope life goes well for you. Remember the good times with CK.
At 9:59 PM,
Thuron said…
Belated ass miss ya but miss ya none the less. Wish you all the best with the horrible evil place known as the real world where actions have reprecussions. All jokes aside. GL in life and I will have to add you too my bazaar people I miss comment.
Post a Comment
<< Home